


An Interview with Vicious Val

by RoksanaLyasin



Series: Dragon Age One Shots [8]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Dragon Age Rogue, Dragon Age Universe, Established Relationship, Gen, Humor, Implied Cullen Rutherford/Original Character, Interviews, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Romance, Skyhold, Slice of Life, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 00:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11196588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoksanaLyasin/pseuds/RoksanaLyasin
Summary: Adapted fromelfsplaining's interview with her awesome OCShaera Lavellan.This interview can also be found on myTumblr.





	An Interview with Vicious Val

Valina organises and shuffles the day's reports aside, tidying the desk as she often does in the evening. The lantern beside her flickers, the warm flame casting shadows across the room. Skyhold is quiet apart from the roaming guards, but little can be heard in their quarters except for the breeze that sweeps through the broken roof and Cullen's soft snores as they drift down from the loft.

After a day of meetings with the Inquisitor and a long evening of assessing reports, she'd finally sent Cullen to be a half hour ago. Valina's eyes trail up the ladder, a smile on her lips. She's eager to joining her tired Commander, eager to slip beneath the covers and snuggle into his warm embrace.

She rises from her chair, stretching languidly as she approaches the stairs. She pauses with her foot on the first rung, her focus on the door that leads to the Great Hall. Footsteps echoed outside the door, her curiosity piqued. It's not unusual for someone to knock on their quarters in search of the Commander of the Inquisition so late, but Valina does not recognise the pattern of footsteps.

She opens the door, startling the man before he can knock, a small shout escaping him and he nearly drops the bundle of parchment in his arms. Her serpentstone gaze flickers down, examining the traveller - warm clothes, sturdy boots, and a generous pack giving him away - while he recovers his composure.

'Are you lost?' she asks, closing the door behind her so as not to disturb Cullen.

'Ah, I don't think so. I was told I could find someone by the name of Val here,' he says, shifting awkwardly on his feet, rearranging the scrolls in his arms.

'And why ever would you want to do that?' she asks, 'it's awfully late to be knocking on someone's door. You never know who might greet you with a dagger.'

'I'm from Denerim. I'm compiling a history of the Inquisition and its supporters. I was hoping to speak to the woman known as Vicious Val?'

Valina smirks at the nickname coined by the recruits she trains, unsurprised to see it has spread outside the walls of Skyhold.

'You've found her.'

He smiles with a nervousness that flickers over his slim features. 'Oh, wonderful! Wonderful!' he says, scrambling again to rearrange his papers, 'would you be willing to answer a few questions?'

'I would be, but you'll have to decide for yourself if what I tell you is true.'

'That is the job of a good biographer,' he said with a firm nod, 'would now be suitable?'

Valina inclines her head, placing a finger upon her lips in a gesture of silence before she beckons him into her's and Cullen's quarters, picking up the lantern from the desk before she leads him through another door and onto the section of the battlements between Cullen's office and the Herald's Rest, where only the wind might interrupt their discussion.

The biographer sits on the stone floor, rummaging in his pack for a writing board, ink, and a quill. She places the lantern beside the biographer and leans against the battlement wall, the cobblestone cool and reassuring at her back. She waits until he glances up, his quill poised above the page, an eager light in his soft blue eyes.

'Ready when you are,' she says.

**1\.    What is your name?** 'Well, it's certainly not Vicious Val.'

**2.** **No seriously, what is your name?** 'Valina.'

The biographer gawks. 'As in Valina Voclain, next Marquise of the Voclain family? One of the biggest trading families in Orlesian history?'

Valina smiles, a wicked turn of her red lips that sends the interviewer's heart fluttering. 'Do you know of any other Valina’s?' she asks.

The biographer clears his throat.

**3.** **Do you know why you were called that?** 'Valina was my grandmother's name.'

**4.** **Do you have any abilities or powers?** 'A few.'

**5.** **Stop being a Mary Sue.** 'I'm sure my father and mother would disagree with you. I'm much too stubborn.'

**6.** **What is your eye colour?** 'Serpentstone green, the same as my father's.'

**7.** **How about your hair colour?** 'Black, also from my father.'

'Where is your father from?'

'Tevinter.'

'Is he a...' the biographer waves around the word.

'A magister?' Valina finishes for him. 'Technically, but he left his heritage behind many years ago.'

**8.** **Did you leave behind any family when you joined up with the Inquisition?** 'For a time. They have since joined the Inquisition's cause also.'

**9.** **I see… what about your parents? '** Yes?'

**10.** **Do you have any?** 'My mother and father both live if that is what you're asking. They are my only family.'

'Didn't you say your father was from Tevinter? You have no relatives there?'

'I'm not inclined to view them as such.'

**11\. Right, okay** **. How about pets? Did you have any growing up?** 'My mabari Bones died a few years ago. He was a sweet, kind-hearted, and intelligent beast. I miss him terribly, but I have many fond memories. We had a great deal of fun in my youth.'

**12.** **Speaking of fun, what does a member of the Inquisition do for fun?** 'I quite enjoy a game of Wicked Grace when I can convince someone to risk a game against me.'

'Risk?'

Valina offers that wicked smirk again. 'Ask any of the core Inquisition members. They'll all tell you a similar story about losing their clothes to me in a single round.'

**13.** **Certainly that can’t be it.** **Have you made any friends, or met anyone special?** 'A few. I quite enjoy the company of many of the Inquisition's members, but I most enjoy the... company of a particular Commander.'

**14.** **Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?** 'I enjoy chess and reading.'

**15.** **Ever hurt someone before?** 'Well, that's a silly question for a rogue, isn't it?'

**16.** **Ever… killed anyone before?** 'Some.'

'What do you mean by 'some'?' the biographer asks, his quill poised above the page.

Valina smirks. 'You'll run out of fingers and toes if you attempt to count the numbers, that I can assure you.'

**17.** **What kind of animal are you?** 'A snake.'

'Venomous?' 

'Very.'

**18.** **Name one of your worst habits.** 'I tend to be blase about matters of the court, but that is half the fun of 'the Game' isn't it?'

**19.** **Do you look up to anyone at all?** 'My parents.'

**20.** **Do you go to school?** 'My education was conducted at home in my youth.'

**21.** **What are you most afraid of?** Valina ponders the question for a time, her expression unreadable until she finally says, 'Loss.'

**22.** **What do you usually wear?** 'Boots, well-worn leather pants, a tunic, my coat, and my daggers, of course.'

**23.** **Do you love someone?** 'Yes. Deeply.'

**24.** **Would like to marry and have kids someday?** 'Much to the dismay of some, I've not thought about it yet. I've only recently found my Amatus. I'm sure it is something we will speak of in time.'

**25.** **What class are you?** 'As I said, I'm a rogue. I specialise as an assassin.'

**26.** **Thoughts on pie?** 'There are much finer foods, but it is suitable enough if you need sustenance. I do enjoy sweet citrus pies on occassion.'

**27.** **Favourite drink?** 'Strong Orlesian tea of any variety.'

**28.** **What’s your favourite place?** 'There's a spot I used to go to as a girl, at the river beside my family's estate. It's pleasant there.'

**29.** **Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?** 'Lake.'

**30.** **Camping indoor or outdoors?** 'Outdoors, always.'

**31.** **Sexual orientation?** 'Such a personal question.'

'Too personal?' the biographer asks. 

Valina smirks. 'We'll just say that I'm... flexible.'

**32.** **And what attracts you, to men?** 'Their voice, their physique, their intelligence. But I could say the same of women.'

**33.** **Are you interested in anyone?** 'I am. Intimately.'

**34.** **Well, what’s your type?** 'Tall, rugged, and commanding.'

**35.** **Any fetishes?** 'Sturdy desks.'

'Sturdy desks?' 

'I believe the details will be far too steamy for your history. Besides, I've already promised a certain dwarf first dibs on that story.'

**36.** **Seme or uke? Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive?** 'I've been told I'm very dominant but for the right person, I willingly relinquish control.' 

**37.** **Tell me about something you don’t like.** 'Nobles.'

'Aren't you a noble, my Lady?'

'Yes, but I don't chase after myself with half-baked promises or send myself love letters written so poorly that it would make you cringe. That's been my main experience with nobles throughout my life.'

**38.** **Are you wanting the quiz to end, miss?** 'Only if you think you've collected enough for your book. I'm sure you've already heard a number of saucy details and rumours about my history.'

**39.** **What’s your bra size?** 'That implies that I actually bother to wear smallclothes.'

The biographer flushes. He knew it was an audacious question, but her forward answer surprises him. His cheeks brighten as he packs up his writing gear, checking that the ink is dry on his parchment before he rolls it and bundles it with his other scrolls - other interviews.

'Thank you for your time, my Lady,' he says as he scrambles to his feet, offering a curt bow, 'may I walk you back to your quarters?'

'I'm quite capable of walking a few metres,' she said, pushing off from the battlement wall, 'good luck with your book, biographer.'

Valina bends to pick up the lantern, leaving the biographer in darkness with only the light of the moon as his guide through the many paths and doors of Skyhold.

As she walks she smiles at the unusual turn of the evening's events, making a note to research the biographer's book if he indeed intends to publish it.

Valina returns to the familiar sounds of her's and Cullen's quarters, to the song of the drafty roof and Cullen's quiet snores, all the more eager to be in her Commander's embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> To complete your own OC interview:  
> 1\. Pick an original character.  
> 2\. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were being interviewed for an article and you were the character/muse.  
> 3\. Encourage other writer's to do the same because it's a lot of fun!


End file.
